Wednesday, 29 December 2010

Day 119

Tom Hanks once said that his mother told him 'Life was like a box of chocolates, sometimes you never know what you're gonna get'.

Well Mrs Gump, Perhaps so, however.. I disagree.

First of all, thanks to the intuitive use of a little leaflet saying which chocolate is which, you have the ability to always know what you're choosing, and what you're going to get. Unless there's a fault in design OR manufacture, then, well. You see my point.

Secondly, I would be more inclined to say that life was like a Jacob's Cracker Selection Box. Different people in our lives resemble a different variety of cracker.

Just stay with me on this guys..

1. The Cream Cracker - Dry, bland, boring, sucks every last drop of moisture and interest out of conversation and should you have to deal with more than 3 at a time, you have to go to certain measures to keep yourself from dying a slow and very dry death.

2. The Cornish Wafer - slightly like a Ritz biscuit. Nothing special, just your average typ'a guy. A little bit of richness sometimes shines through in a somewhat buttery taste.

3. The Choice Grain - Difficult. A square person/cracker who often needs to be accompanied by some sort of meat or cheese to ensure a pleasant experience.

4. The Water Biscuit - Most likely to be the Vegan, animal-activist, politically correct, cold toast eating, no-fun, in bed with a cup of cocoa at 6, gardeners world type of person. Quite literally the only good thing is with this type of person, you can get sympathy from others if you've ever had to deal with them.

5. High-Fibre Cream Cracker - Similar to number 1, except these people make you need the toilet. >.<

6. The Hovis Biscuits - The Cream of the Crop of civilisation, funny, witty, charming, good looking, charismatic and enough general knowledge to save us all from the cream crackers. Utterly lovely.

7. Cheddars - The salty and bitter cracker.. although the name seems charming enough.. beware the salt and any ulterior motives.

8. The Salt & Cracked Black Pepper Bakes - One of those people who're just all over the shop. So many different sides to them, they're borderline schizophrenic, but lovely enough to be a great friend. That is, until they lodge a piece of pepper in your throat and it's pain from there on in.

OK, so now I've got that out the way...


I can't quite believe I spent 20 minutes researching and writing that. What HAS my life come to!?

I went into London today :') After a fairly rushed start (and I use that term lightly) - me and the family headed in! We went to the Apple Store, and I think I've pretty much decided, I want an iPad so bad >.<

We did a bit of shopping 'n' lunch in Covent Garden and then headed back to the Noel Coward Theatre to see 'Deathtrap'. It was absolutely brilliant. Fucking petrifying at some points, but, all in all, it was a really good show :D

Had to stand up on the train on the way home a lot of the way, which was a bit bleugh.. but, actually. Yes. I reckon we made good time :P

Got home about 7, just had some dinner, and I'm looking forward to the rest of my night in :)

I'll talk toy'all tomorrow :)

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