Saturday, 26 May 2012

Day 310 - Identity

It's one of life's biggest clich├ęs, that our whole reason for existing is to 'find who we are'.

But what does that mean? What is our identity, and more to the point, what does it mean to find who you are?

Before I go on, of course, all that I say here is my opinion, I'm not going to say any of this as fact, this is just what I think, what I feel, and what I think people might be interested in reading!

I'm gonna start the controversy, as perhaps I always do, with the wonderful world of Twitter, and the minefield that is 'popularity'. Those who tend to have the most followers, of screaming hipsters flocking at their feet, are the teenage guys with no shirt on, piercings and meaningless tattoos, who put 'alternative' things in their bio in the desperate attempt for people to think they're cool. And, y'know what, perhaps in the world of Twitter, they are. But, argh, do you not see how meaningless it all is? The amount of Facebook friends you have, your Twitter followers, whatever, in the grand scheme of things, what is it?

You don't find yourself by complaining online about how unfair or ironic life is. And, yes, it might amuse me, and I might scream: "I thought I was the only one!" - alas, beyond that short burst of recognisability, and perhaps acceptance in non-conformity, there is nothing.

Since I've turned 18 especially, I like to think that I have experienced a lot more of the world than I ever thought I would do, and I've met people I'd never thought I'd meet, and I've befriended the people, who, perhaps I wouldn't ever dream of befriending before, but, for some reason, I see that I am accepted with those people. And those individuals who stick two fingers up to whatever anybody else thinks and says "Fuck the world, you're my friend. And I love you." - these people, they are who I live for, and to be that person to somebody else, is a big part of that.

So y'know, take a risk. Because you are a lot more likely to discover stuff about yourself you never even knew existed if you do. I'm not saying playing it safe doesn't have its merits, because it does, but don't be frightened by the massive possibilities that you have. I'd like to think that if I hadn't taken some of the risks or decisions that I have, I certainly wouldn't be where I am today. And I'm grateful for it.

Say 'fuck it', meet new people, talk to strangers, start an argument, stir things up. Visit new places and experience new things and make memories that you'll never forget, I don't even know, spend too much money, drink too much, vote, cause a debate, read a book, learn a language, place a bet, apply for a job, write a poem or sing a song, or take up a sport or whatever you can to shake things up a bit! You'll never find yourself unless you're willing to go out there and look.

So take a deep breath, and even if it's nothing drastic, every choice is one step closer to achieving what it is you want to achieve.

And I'm certainly not there yet, I still fear making the wrong decision, and regret making some of the decisions, but I'm learning that it doesn't matter, because that's what life is about!

There's a poster in my room, and it reads:
"The world existed for millions of years before you, and will exist for millions of years when you're gone. Your window is about 80 years, so you better enjoy it and experience it. You had, and will have a very long time to chill out, so grab onto this chance and use it as best you can."
I don't want to grow old with regrets of things I never did. I'd much rather have the regrets of things I took a chance on, even if it went wrong.